Emancipated!

Ladies, I am free! I am FREE! And I love it. I never knew what liberation felt like until I finally let go of the idea that I just HAD to be in a relationship. It would be nice, but it is not necessary. It feels good y'all. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It happened the moment I took myself off of the market and decided to stop dating for a while. I have decided not to date and not to look for a date.

Through prayer, counseling, and consultation with a Godly woman who told me that I should be courted I decided to just sit back and chill for a while. I still love men but you know what? I love me more. The dating scene today is really not that conducive to building a Godly relationship. Men know that we out-number them so the fact that they have options gives them a certain amount of power. In my profession, I see teenage girls who walk the boys to class. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Adult relationships are often not too different. Women make themselves readily available to men they shouldn't. We answer phone calls and texts at all hours of the night. We offer information about ourselves without allowing them to ask one single question. They don't really have to work too hard these days. I'm not judging. I have been there too. Sometimes we get so eager to be in relationships that we lower the expectation and then our feelings are hurt when the outcome is a disaster.

So I thought about it one day. I really don't have to tolerate any of this. I can be really happy just doing me without the pressure of trying to figure out if these dudes really like me. I figured if God is powerful enough to part the RED SEA, powerful enough to make a fig tree wither, powerful enough to raise Lazarus from the dead, powerful enough to turn water in to wine, surely He is powerful enough to SEND me a husband. I won't have to go looking for him or make him find me. My only job is to be obedient.

So I stopped looking. If they want me, they will find me. My job right now is to prepare through prayer and study. This way I am armed with the power of discernment to determine the divine from the duds.

The biggest feeling of liberation comes when I meet someone. When I start to ponder those often thrown about questions: is he interested in me? Was that a hint? Is he flirting? I stop myself and say you know what? It doesn't matter if he is interested or not because I'm off the market so I can relax. I breathe a sigh of relief and then move on. We talk or speak or whatever because it just doesn't matter. I'm free to be me. Not someone I think I should be to impress a stranger.

It feels fabulous!

I'll be prepared when the right one comes along. I'm just not going to rush it. In the meantime. I have a fabulous life to live! I have vacations to take and new worlds to experience. I get to clean up my credit (yes, I'm willing admit that it is a problem). I have some shopping to do, some stories to write, some books to read, some weight to lose, and new foods to try...and new recipes to learn! I have a family to love. And, I have an amazing God to serve. That's the best part about it! I get to discover new ways to serve God's kingdom without the pressure of neglecting my potential mate. I'm going to do them too. A little bit at a time.

Don't get me wrong. I still believe in relationships and one day I will have a great one. But not at the cost of my sanity or my peace of mind. Until then, I have been SET FREE!