Friday, June 28, 2013
The Real You!
Whatever happened to a good old fashioned smile? I am overwhelmed by the number Tyra-esque pictures on the internet. Normal, everyday people striking red carpet poses at normal, everyday events. Knee bent, head tilted, shoulders back. Every picture you take doesn't have to be carefully contrived. A normal picture doesn't mean you are less beautiful. It just means you are...well...normal! Be you! Be real and let the lens capture your genuineness and sincerity. JUST SMILE! #mytwocents
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Wealthy Pauper!
Saturday, I had a yard sale. It was a grueling four hours of work. I mean it was brutal. Setting up tables, hanging up clothes, posting flyers, and organizing display settings. All while enduring the Texas heat at high noon! I was exhausted but excited. I knew that yard sale was a step in the right direction to my financial freedom. And besides that, I was looking forward to the financial payoff the sale was sure to bring. Cha-Ching!
made a wopping $10.
Discouraged? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Deterred? Not even! You see I realized a few weeks ago that I live in a fantasy world. One of my own creation. For the first few years...no more than that, most of my adult life, I have lived a life beyond my means. Why? Well, I really I thought I could afford it. The main reason is that I like nice things. Things that I really don't need. Yet, in my heart I felt like if I worked everyday I ought to have the things I wanted. So I bought what I wanted. If I saw it, I bought it. If i wanted to, I did it. Whatever it was, I made a way. Even if it meant waiting to take care of a monthly responsibility. Transalation: I would miss paying a bill to go shopping. (Hey, at least I'm being honest). The bright side of this concept is that I have experienced some amazing things in my life and I have looked and felt good doing them. The down side...people eventually want their money!
I am, what I like to call, a wealthy pauper. I have a home. I have a reliable vehicle. By my definition wealth is defined by my home, my car, and my ability to vacation and splurge. And when I shop, I shop! Although I am modest, I love, love LOVE designer labels. And I like timesless labels. Things that will last. If it's trendy, I probably won't have it; however, classic items always catch my eye. Finally, I don't bargain shop. At all. Why? I don't have the patience for it. This not the true definition of wealth. Real wealth occurs when your money works for you. And I definitely work for my money! But for my current state of mind and for the creative use of my oxymoronic title, I felt it was the appropriate term.
With all of the things that I have and that I am able, or at least that I am doing, my bank account is bleeding. I live paycheck to paycheck. I have to, I MUST, go to work everyday which is a horrible feeling on those days when I'm not so enthusiastic about my chosen profession. Reality check: I am literally broke! How sad. To be a college graduate, a professional, and yet be an economic slave because I have no self-control.
I regret that it has taken me until I am in my forties to realize that I have become enslaved to materialism. However, I am grateful to God that I have been allowed the opportunity for financial redemption without any major financial catastrophes. Through conviction and confession, I have studied the concept of good stewardship and I am making a deliberate effort at reformation.
This is hard work people. Hard! Thus, the reason for the yard sale. I want to decorate my house so I have some trash to treasure items that I felt could help fund my DIY projects. Thankfully, the yard sale reminded me that this is a long journey and I must now practice the concept of delayed gratification. Delaying my need to be satisfied is not an impossible task but it relies on a virtue that God has been working on in me all of my life: PATIENCE. I don't have it! However, if I am to grow financially and cease being a wealthy pauper patience is a requirement.
I should be embarrased to share this part of my life but I'm not. I know someone has experienced, is experiencing, or is about to experience this same trial. So I don't want to leave you to with the horror story of my economic outlook. I want to leave you with a message of hope...and a few strategies.
You see I have faith that my net worth can and will improve and one day I will be a true example of a wealthy individual. The Bible states that God "is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us (Eph. 3:20)." I trust God to deliver me from this unhealthy habit of financial irresponsibilty; yet scripture is clear, God will bless me according to power that dwells in me. Don't get it twisted. He CAN do it without me but he wants to use me. I have power in Jesus Christ to fix this situation. I have work to do! So here is my plan for the work...just in case you were wondering.
First, continue to tithe. Off the gross and not the net! If you need a scriptural reference then peruse Malachi 3:10. It's a great read and if you read the entire chapter (it's short) you will learn that the tithe is about much more than giving God 10% of your money. Second, the Word of God also says, "The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.(2 Thel. 3:10)." I plan to continue to work (I really wish I didn't have to...sigh). I also need a side hustle. It's not my first choice; yet, I am willing to make the sacrifice until I am debt free. Next, God also tells me in Romans 13:8, "owe no man nothing." Consequently, my next steps are to take care of my finacial responsibilities first. Translation: Pay my bills first! It's that simple. The next step is to scale back. There are just some things I don't need, i.e. movie channels on cable. Shopping has to wait. I don't have to eat out everday. My new hobbies include cooking and taking my lunch. You will be surprised at how much money you save and how much weight you might lose. (Taken from the Dave Ramsey School of Recovery!) Finally, it is urgent that I save. I'm starting small. Proverbs 13: 11 says, "Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it." Dollars, quarters, dimes, and nickles I save it. I have about $50 a month that goes directly into a savings account. It's small, but it's a start. We are getting a raise so I will go up twety-five more. The $10 I made yesterday, I paid $1 in my tithe and I put $9 away for my redcorating projects. I don't have much right now; however, I am looking forward to the day when my start is just a memory and my finish is a healthy bank account.
There are many people who save more and a lot of them are much younger than I am. But honestly, I don't care. I can't measure myself against their success. Again, this is my journey. And although it is difficult and challenging I am encouraged that God is using this situation to bring me closer to him. To teach me to give him complete control and to be humbly obedient. I'm in the finacial valley right now. But one day, folks, I will stand at my economic mountaintop and declare victory! CHA-CHING!
made a wopping $10.
Discouraged? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Deterred? Not even! You see I realized a few weeks ago that I live in a fantasy world. One of my own creation. For the first few years...no more than that, most of my adult life, I have lived a life beyond my means. Why? Well, I really I thought I could afford it. The main reason is that I like nice things. Things that I really don't need. Yet, in my heart I felt like if I worked everyday I ought to have the things I wanted. So I bought what I wanted. If I saw it, I bought it. If i wanted to, I did it. Whatever it was, I made a way. Even if it meant waiting to take care of a monthly responsibility. Transalation: I would miss paying a bill to go shopping. (Hey, at least I'm being honest). The bright side of this concept is that I have experienced some amazing things in my life and I have looked and felt good doing them. The down side...people eventually want their money!
I am, what I like to call, a wealthy pauper. I have a home. I have a reliable vehicle. By my definition wealth is defined by my home, my car, and my ability to vacation and splurge. And when I shop, I shop! Although I am modest, I love, love LOVE designer labels. And I like timesless labels. Things that will last. If it's trendy, I probably won't have it; however, classic items always catch my eye. Finally, I don't bargain shop. At all. Why? I don't have the patience for it. This not the true definition of wealth. Real wealth occurs when your money works for you. And I definitely work for my money! But for my current state of mind and for the creative use of my oxymoronic title, I felt it was the appropriate term.
With all of the things that I have and that I am able, or at least that I am doing, my bank account is bleeding. I live paycheck to paycheck. I have to, I MUST, go to work everyday which is a horrible feeling on those days when I'm not so enthusiastic about my chosen profession. Reality check: I am literally broke! How sad. To be a college graduate, a professional, and yet be an economic slave because I have no self-control.
I regret that it has taken me until I am in my forties to realize that I have become enslaved to materialism. However, I am grateful to God that I have been allowed the opportunity for financial redemption without any major financial catastrophes. Through conviction and confession, I have studied the concept of good stewardship and I am making a deliberate effort at reformation.
This is hard work people. Hard! Thus, the reason for the yard sale. I want to decorate my house so I have some trash to treasure items that I felt could help fund my DIY projects. Thankfully, the yard sale reminded me that this is a long journey and I must now practice the concept of delayed gratification. Delaying my need to be satisfied is not an impossible task but it relies on a virtue that God has been working on in me all of my life: PATIENCE. I don't have it! However, if I am to grow financially and cease being a wealthy pauper patience is a requirement.
I should be embarrased to share this part of my life but I'm not. I know someone has experienced, is experiencing, or is about to experience this same trial. So I don't want to leave you to with the horror story of my economic outlook. I want to leave you with a message of hope...and a few strategies.
You see I have faith that my net worth can and will improve and one day I will be a true example of a wealthy individual. The Bible states that God "is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us (Eph. 3:20)." I trust God to deliver me from this unhealthy habit of financial irresponsibilty; yet scripture is clear, God will bless me according to power that dwells in me. Don't get it twisted. He CAN do it without me but he wants to use me. I have power in Jesus Christ to fix this situation. I have work to do! So here is my plan for the work...just in case you were wondering.
First, continue to tithe. Off the gross and not the net! If you need a scriptural reference then peruse Malachi 3:10. It's a great read and if you read the entire chapter (it's short) you will learn that the tithe is about much more than giving God 10% of your money. Second, the Word of God also says, "The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.(2 Thel. 3:10)." I plan to continue to work (I really wish I didn't have to...sigh). I also need a side hustle. It's not my first choice; yet, I am willing to make the sacrifice until I am debt free. Next, God also tells me in Romans 13:8, "owe no man nothing." Consequently, my next steps are to take care of my finacial responsibilities first. Translation: Pay my bills first! It's that simple. The next step is to scale back. There are just some things I don't need, i.e. movie channels on cable. Shopping has to wait. I don't have to eat out everday. My new hobbies include cooking and taking my lunch. You will be surprised at how much money you save and how much weight you might lose. (Taken from the Dave Ramsey School of Recovery!) Finally, it is urgent that I save. I'm starting small. Proverbs 13: 11 says, "Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it." Dollars, quarters, dimes, and nickles I save it. I have about $50 a month that goes directly into a savings account. It's small, but it's a start. We are getting a raise so I will go up twety-five more. The $10 I made yesterday, I paid $1 in my tithe and I put $9 away for my redcorating projects. I don't have much right now; however, I am looking forward to the day when my start is just a memory and my finish is a healthy bank account.
There are many people who save more and a lot of them are much younger than I am. But honestly, I don't care. I can't measure myself against their success. Again, this is my journey. And although it is difficult and challenging I am encouraged that God is using this situation to bring me closer to him. To teach me to give him complete control and to be humbly obedient. I'm in the finacial valley right now. But one day, folks, I will stand at my economic mountaintop and declare victory! CHA-CHING!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Competition: The enemy of success
I have a problem with competition. I hate it. I was never a competitor. At least not with other people. My biggest opponent is myself. I am constantly challenging myself to do better and to BE better. To try new things. To learn new or more information. I have an internal scoreboard that I can never beat! I guess that is why I hate competition so much because in my mind I am always losing against myself.
This love/hate relationship that I have with competition is very frustrating especially as an adult woman. Women are fierce competitors with each other. I don't know why. It's an art form with us. Healthy competition can motivate people to accomplish great things but competition that is driven by jealousy or envy is one of our worst enemies. Yet, it's not like we can rid ourselves of this adversary. So how do we navigate life in a world that pits us against each other?
I wish I had the perfect solution. All I can offer you is a strategy. There are two things that you can do. First, ask yourself, what do I love to do? What are my gifts and strengths? Once you figure out the answer to those questions work every day to use those gifts. Second and finally, live your life and do everything to the glory of God. When you follow God's will for your life it doesn't matter who is competing with you, even if it is yourself, you can't lose! He will never give you an assignment in which He wants you to fail. It may be challenging but if He gave it to you, He will equip you for the task.
As I grow older and, hopefully, wiser, I find that it is not worth my time to worry about people, women, who consider themselves my rivals, whether consciously or unconsciously. And, you shouldn't either. My only requirement is that I LIVE the life God gave me! I used to take pride in this sport as I thought that somehow it was a form of imitation or flattery and somehow I inspired people. I can no longer take credit for that. If there is a light in me that someone wants to emulate, that light is God given and God inspired. So, it's not me you see but the Holy Spirit working through me! I am honored that He chooses me to do anything.
Life is too short to take on a goal that is not your own. So if you find yourself competing, whether the champion or the challenger, take your eyes off your opponent. Fix your eyes on Christ! Use whatever He gives you to glorify Him. With Him in your corner, you can never fail and you will NEVER have to compete!
This love/hate relationship that I have with competition is very frustrating especially as an adult woman. Women are fierce competitors with each other. I don't know why. It's an art form with us. Healthy competition can motivate people to accomplish great things but competition that is driven by jealousy or envy is one of our worst enemies. Yet, it's not like we can rid ourselves of this adversary. So how do we navigate life in a world that pits us against each other?
I wish I had the perfect solution. All I can offer you is a strategy. There are two things that you can do. First, ask yourself, what do I love to do? What are my gifts and strengths? Once you figure out the answer to those questions work every day to use those gifts. Second and finally, live your life and do everything to the glory of God. When you follow God's will for your life it doesn't matter who is competing with you, even if it is yourself, you can't lose! He will never give you an assignment in which He wants you to fail. It may be challenging but if He gave it to you, He will equip you for the task.
As I grow older and, hopefully, wiser, I find that it is not worth my time to worry about people, women, who consider themselves my rivals, whether consciously or unconsciously. And, you shouldn't either. My only requirement is that I LIVE the life God gave me! I used to take pride in this sport as I thought that somehow it was a form of imitation or flattery and somehow I inspired people. I can no longer take credit for that. If there is a light in me that someone wants to emulate, that light is God given and God inspired. So, it's not me you see but the Holy Spirit working through me! I am honored that He chooses me to do anything.
Life is too short to take on a goal that is not your own. So if you find yourself competing, whether the champion or the challenger, take your eyes off your opponent. Fix your eyes on Christ! Use whatever He gives you to glorify Him. With Him in your corner, you can never fail and you will NEVER have to compete!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Re-Post: Loving Yourself
In this age of plastic and cosmetic surgery, infomercials and self-help therapy it is a daily struggle for anyone to be satisfied with what they were born with, myself included. Last New Year's instead of resolutions I made commitments. To me this was a better way to work on some things and have room to make mistakes. If I messed up I could start over since I was committed to whatever task I assigned myself. This sounded much better than a resolution wherein if you messed up you were a complete failure. One of my commitments was to love myself more each day than I did the day before. Sounds easy; not necessarily. It seems the minute I said it, there were constant reminders of things to detest about myself so I was in a daily struggle. Sometimes I won...and sometimes I needed to go back to the drawing board! But I'll tell you, I wouldn't change that commitment for anything in the world. Embracing yourself for who you are is hard, because the world will tell you that something about you needs fixing. You're ugly. Fat. Stupid. Black. Your hair is nappy. You're too short. Your attitude is bad. You suck at your job. But...when you take the time to love yourself it is an empowering feeling. And I'm not just talking about vanity. What I'm talking about is ...acceptance. I had to say to myself everyday, "This is me. Like it or love it, these are the gifts God gave me and if I use them right, I can change the world." When I recognized that, it gave me courage and strength. Courage to try new and different things. Courage to make new friends. Courage to be myself. Courage to improve my health. The strength to say that I might need a new job. Strength to suffer through a budget and improve my credit. The strength to say no and eliminate some things in my life that needed to be removed. And now when I look back, these are all the things I would have made resolutions about anyway. True, I wish I could have done a better job on some of these things; but I did them nonetheless, and I surprised myself at how successful I really was. So this new year, I am committing to loving myself in 2006 more than I did in 2005, and I can't wait to see the result!!!
P.S. Written in 2006 but still true in 2013. Repost!
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