One Night With the King

This is one of my favorite movies! The story of Queen Esther and how she saved her people! I love it. I watch it over and over. Yes, people I am a hopeless romantic. I can't help it. I love to see people falling in love which is why I can't figure out why I haven't done so...well, that isn't exactly true.

I have fallen in love and mostly with the wrong people, or with the right people at the wrong time. Honestly, I get so discouraged with my love life sometimes I just want to throw my hands in the air and say, "Screw it! This is so not worth it!" I ask myself, "When will I finally get my one night with my king?" Date after date. Friendship after friendship. It just seems that the right person never comes along. So, sometimes I convince myself to just live vicariously through the lives of other people. Celebrate their marriages and relationships.

But, as I started watching this movie I realized a few things. First, God doesn't want me to just have one night with my king. He wants me to have a lifetime. Don't get me wrong, Esther is my GIRL! She is one of my favorite characters in the bible. However, in that one night with King Ahasuerus (Xerxes) God gave Esther an opportunity to fulfill a heavenly purpose that she never would have imagined when she became queen. He doesn't want me involved in the brief romantic encounters that are so prevalent today. He wants me with a man who will love and honor me for the rest of my days.

In addition, as a single woman who wants to be married, I have to realize that my marriage will not be my own. It will belong to my Heavenly King to fulfill an eternal purpose and like Esther I cannot imagine what it will be. A destiny awaits me as I prepare for my husband! Therefore, I have to...I MUST stop being so...so...cavalier about the men I allow in my life. Let's just keep it real, men do to us what we allow them to do. Instead of One Night With the King, my movie would be called A Date with a Dud.  My dad calls men who don't step up to the plate duds. I love it. I absolutely love it! I thought is was so funny until I realized I had gone out with a few. Men who just wanted to run through, as they love to call it. To just have fun. To just chill. To receive ALL of the benefits of a relationship without accepting ANY of the responsibilities. To have what they wanted with no commitment or intentions of honoring me as a woman.  And why? Because I have allowed them to. It was a waste of my time. And, a waste of my preparation! 

Finally, I realized another truth. Esther didn't have to date like I do. Dating today is like having a conversation with salesman. You can't really tell where the truth ends and the lies begin. I find myself wondering what is the point. Then it hit me. Esther was selected. Thus, my dilemma. Being selected requires you to wait. Waiting requires patience. And patience is NOT my virtue!! But, if I want to separate the wheat from the chaff, the deal from the dud...I have to be...Patient. I have to be selected. The selection process gives me the opportunity to see who's just talking about the purchase, who's buying on credit, who wants to put it on layaway, and who wants to take it home!

In my impatience I ask myself, why haven't I been selected? I am forty years old and it is time to get married-point, blank, period! (In the words of Tamar...from the Braxton's, not the bible). What's wrong with these men? Can't they see what a catch I am? (I'm not good with humility either. Let's face it, I think I'm the bomb...). It's not about them. This process is about me being obedient to God and His voice. There are some things He is doing in me and through me that must happen before my King finds me. In other words, God is refining the merchandise! Polishing it up before the sale can take place. (I'm cool with that.)

I guess what I'm saying is that I have been viewing this whole process of dating, relationships, and marriage wrong. I want my king! And when the time is right, ladies, He will want me as much as I want him!  And I am anxious for the chance to say, "God use me! Use my relationship! Use the love I have in my heart to help build your kingdom!" You see I finally get it: I. AM. A. QUEEN. And I am PREPARING for my KING. Nothing more and definitely nothing less! Love ya!